The Lord Slayeth the Wicked

Waiting for the doctor, during initial round of treatment.

If you remember from my previous post, Graduating from the ECP treatment, I was able to have my doctor’s appointment yesterday.  As I mentioned in that post, it is this next month which is the real test to how stable I can be without having the ECP treatment to help balance my blood.  So far, I do feel great!  With every appointment I have had for about the last year, I have actually had one service missionary who has driven me to almost every appointment, Brother Smith.  As I am almost done with my mission and Brother Smith has some other commitments this next month, it was my last appointment for him to drive me to.

While driving in the car, I was given a chance to reflect a little on the experience I have had with cancer.  One thing which has really stood out to me is how much support I have found from so many people who have volunteered, time, money, and many other things in my behalf.  I am very grateful for Brother Smith and for the time he has taken for what I am sure must have been some very boring and long days.  I was also able to reflect on the service given me from Ward members, friends, and family.  If I were to spend all day making a list of all the ways I have been blessed, I am not sure I could complete it.  And if I ever did come to a time I felt I had put everything I knew, I am sure there are many more things I would miss.  At this last appointment I had occasion to reflect on some very meaningful and humorous support I have had from my family.  It is about this support and the perspective it has given me which I wish to talk today.

Dad learning to flush my central line. . . exciting!

If I remember correctly, this was several years ago at a time when I was first going through the chemo treatments.  My extended family had made a chain of hearts for me to decorate the hospital room I was in.  It was a series of hearts all connected by a little string, and on every heart was written a brief message or a scripture.  This hearts came at a time when I was very sick, and their uplifting messages were a great blessing.  There is only one heart which I still remember at this time, and it came from my cousin Erik.  He had written down a verse from the Book of Mormon.  In this verse, Nephi has just returned to the city in Jerusalem in a third attempt to get the Brass Plates from Laban.  Laban was a wicked man and had tried to kill Nephi and his brothers before, not to mention he refused to give up the plates.  As Nephi enters the city, he finds Laban drunk and passed out in the street.  The Spirit of the Lord commands Nephi to slay him, but Nephi resists and in these verses he is wrestling with the spirit.  The verse which Erik shared is the Spirit speaking to Nephi which reads:

“Behold the Lord slayeth the wicked to bring forth his righteous purposes. It is better that one man should perish than that a nation should dwindle and perish in unbelief.” (1 Nephi 4: 13)

I still smile every time I read this verse.  I am glad I have not been slain!  This verse helped me, and continues to help me to keep a positive perspective with everything I go through.  I am not sure how exactly it applies, but it made me smile.  And I think that is what it was intended for.  I find it interesting to talk with the different patients and staff down at the hospital.  I am always impressed with how positive people can be despite what they are going through, and other times I do see many people who are negative or depressed; although for me it is not very hard to imagine why.  I also recognize there have been times when I have been so.  As I feel I have been driven down it has led me to seek for a way out, to seek for light and support.  For me it was a time to come to know that there is only one solution, and it through Jesus Christ.  I have found He is there for us, and I have found that with Him all things can be overcome.  With Him, we can keep a smile on our face.  As He has already overcome all the world, He can support us through all things. 

“Fear not, little children, for you are mine, and I have overcome the world, and you are of them that my Father hath given me; And none of them that my Father hath given me shall be lost.” (D&C 50: 41-42)