The Lord Slayeth the Wicked

Waiting for the doctor, during initial round of treatment.

If you remember from my previous post, Graduating from the ECP treatment, I was able to have my doctor’s appointment yesterday.  As I mentioned in that post, it is this next month which is the real test to how stable I can be without having the ECP treatment to help balance my blood.  So far, I do feel great!  With every appointment I have had for about the last year, I have actually had one service missionary who has driven me to almost every appointment, Brother Smith.  As I am almost done with my mission and Brother Smith has some other commitments this next month, it was my last appointment for him to drive me to.

While driving in the car, I was given a chance to reflect a little on the experience I have had with cancer.  One thing which has really stood out to me is how much support I have found from so many people who have volunteered, time, money, and many other things in my behalf.  I am very grateful for Brother Smith and for the time he has taken for what I am sure must have been some very boring and long days.  I was also able to reflect on the service given me from Ward members, friends, and family.  If I were to spend all day making a list of all the ways I have been blessed, I am not sure I could complete it.  And if I ever did come to a time I felt I had put everything I knew, I am sure there are many more things I would miss.  At this last appointment I had occasion to reflect on some very meaningful and humorous support I have had from my family.  It is about this support and the perspective it has given me which I wish to talk today.

Graduating From the ECP Treatment!

I had some very exciting news last month which I am late sharing.  Last month I had graduated from the ECP (extra corporeal photopheresis) treatments which I have been doing!  Because of the bone marrow transplant I had, I have had some complications with my body adapting to the new marrow and the new immune system.  The ECP was a treatment done to the blood to help balance the good blood cells in me, and decrease the ones which have been attacking me.  When I first came into the MTC my breathing was about 37-39% of what is normal. The number of attacking cells having greatly decreased it.  This is not to mention the other difficulties I have had with my joints and other things.  Because of the treatments my breathing has increased back up to the 70’s =D, although, I am still waiting for my hair to come back.  I do think most of us would choose being able to breathe over having hair.  The graduation was a tender mercy from the Lord and a blessing which I was not expecting.  I am very excited to be moving on and progressing, but it is this next month actually which is the real test of how I have done.

I was receiving the treatments on a monthly basis, and this next Monday I will have my next appointment with the doctor.  This visit, unlike the others, I will only be seeing the doctor, and I will not be having the ECP treatments.  The test is to see if my body will still continue to improve, or we are hoping at least still stay function the same in regards to my body systems.  This next month I will not have the extra support which can be given from the ECP treatments and my body will be expected to reach a new height of independence.  While it is exciting to move forward, moving too quickly can overload my body, and put me back to where I was, or below that.  The danger with taking a step back is how difficult it is to regain the ground I have already climbed.  The body becomes more stubborn the second time.  I do however, have faith, and I am confident in moving forward.  I trust the Lord will give me the support I need to continue to bring me closer to Him and to continue to give me guidance.  Not only does He guide me in making choices with my health, but this shows us a pattern of progression in our lives.

Following the Wake of Giants

Not only is our service as missionaries something which is relatively new for the church, it is also something which has included a new type of missionary.  Currently, all of us have different medical things which have kept us from serving a walking mission.  Not only do I have my own story of how I got here, but every missionary who serves here is a wonderful example of perseverance, faith, and patience on the Lord and His blessings.  This being the case, I do believe our mission fluctuates in many ways that most other missions do not.  I know currently we have half of the number of missionaries with us compared to what we had at this time last year, and four more of us will be leaving before the end of Summer.  Seeing as there are only seven of us here currently, we have felt a great impact when each missionary has left.  The latest two who have left us were Elder Howden and Elder Moxley.  As I have been thinking about them, and the support they have been I had thought it might be nice for me to share some experiences I have had while serving with them.

Both of these missionaries were serving missions elsewhere, and then because of different things were reassigned to our mission.  I believe Elder Howden and Elder Moxley tell their stories better than I could, so I wanted to give my perspective on some other things.

Passover at the MTC

We had a Passover celebration here in the RC, complete with lamb’s blood over the door frames. Well, not really, but they have been painting a little here.  We didn’t know they would be painting, so it was a little bit of a surprise to see how they left the wall for a few days after starting.  The good news is they did later come back and finish the painting.  In the scriptures, the Passover was a time to remember some of the many blessings which God had given to Israel.  The lamb’s blood over the door was used at the time (Exodus 12) to safeguard the house so the destroying angel would pass by.  There is probably more symbolism than what I am able to glean, but I do know that it was a representation of Jesus Christ and the sacrifice which He would make.  While we don’t have a destroying Angel coming through our city, it is always important for us to remember Jesus Christ and what He has done for us.

I tried searching for how many times the word “remember” is mentioned in the scriptures.  But, I was not able to see how many times it was individually mentioned.  However, I was able to find that it is mentioned in 275 chapters, many of the chapters multiple times. Remembering Jesus Christ is a part of the promise we make with the sacrament.  As we remember Him, and what He has done for us, it is easy to choose to follow His commandments.  We remember him, we take His name upon us, and we follow His commandments.

Blessings and a Broken Head (Literally)

Please note the "I bleed true blue" shirt he is wearing :)

Last weekend I had an unexpected surprise.  On Friday evening while we were in the middle of a lesson, my companion Elder Fallentine mentioned that my Mom was messaging him on facebook.  I was a little confused at why she was messaging him until I heard the message, that my brother was currently in the emergency room here in Provo and my Mom was asking if I would be allowed to go and give him a blessing.  I was informed he had fractured his frontal lobe, but was ok.  With that little information my imagination did begin to wander very much.  What exactly does ok mean?  And how is it ok with a broken head?  Is ok simply that he isn’t dead, or he is conscious?  Or does ok also include significant brain damage?  And at the front of my mind, I needed to find out if I would be able to go and see him and give him the priesthood blessing, which I was.

In an effort to keep ourselves focused on serving the Lord, correspondence with our family is usually limited.  Although this is not the first time I have seen my brother, (as you can read here, Teaching Experiences with Cassia) I was blessed to go and see him in the hospital and I was able to give him a priesthood blessing.   He is recovering well, and many of the worries I had have been alleviated.  While the real purpose of going to see my brother was to bless and help him, I feel I was the one who was blessed the most.

Saving the Worms or Saving the Birds?

I love the rain!  These last few weeks we have been getting a lot of rain (comparatively, Utah is a pretty dry state).  With the extra rain, there have been a lot of worms on the sidewalks.  With the extra moisture I guess it is a good time to travel; but sadly, many of them are not able to find a spot of earth before the rain stops.  The sun comes out quickly, everything is soon dry, and the worms become cooked to the sidewalk.  Not only is this very gross, but I do also have some sympathy for the worms.  In walking to the temple yesterday morning I decided maybe I could give a little charity, and save a few worms.  I did this by picking up the worms which were still moving and throwing them into the grass.  It was good at first, but very quickly it became strenuous.  It was not fun to keep bending over, and I felt gross after touching each worm.  I felt torn about leaving the worms to suffer, or alleviating my own pain.  Even though the worms were small and mostly insignificant it was difficult for me to rationalize a good reason to let them die, but I did not suffer long as I soon found a reason to stop.  I was saved later when I saw a bird tearing up a worm that was too big for it to eat all at once.  I rationalized that by saving worms I was really killing birds, I was taking away their breakfast.  In order to work for the greater good, I have stopped saving worms in order to save birds.

It struck me this morning how much this is really like the experience of many of those who fall away from the church.  It starts with joy and gladness, but as it becomes difficult it is easy to find excuses.  Unlike saving worms, the gospel is something which is good for both the worms and the birds—metaphorically speaking.  And the consequences of leaving it are more than just a gross looking sidewalk and dead worms.

Leaving the One Headlight Club

Testing camera, oops!  I should turn the flash off.

In the evenings walking back from the MTC to the home where we stay, there is a fairly busy road we walk next to.  One thing which has been surprising for me is the high number of cars which I have seen with only one headlight.  On one particular evening, I believe there were just about half a dozen cars which drove by us, all with one headlight out, and we consistently see at least three every evening.  I have been starting to wonder if there is a club, and some part of being in the club was to knock out a headlight.  I have not had a chance to investigate it, and I don’t think I will.  I have decided it is not a club I want to join.

It seemed surprising to see such a large number of people going around with this handicap or deficiency, especially when it can be easily corrected.  It made me think a little of how sometimes in our lives we can find ourselves walking around with deficiencies or sins which could also be easily fixed.  I can understand poor college students doing the best with what they can, but the best part of repentance is that it doesn’t cost any money!